Picture this, it has been raining for hours, the air is just above freezing and you’re packing what feels like the entire contents of your house into a Honda CRV. You then pack three children elbow to elbow in the back seat. Set the gps for Tennessee and let the seventeen hour road trip begin!
I will be completely honest, when I decided to write about our trip I pictured stories upon stories of how crazy and unpredictable the kids were. I imagined funny ways to describe their antics and even had a notebook to write everything down as it happened so I wouldn’t forget anything! Well, the notes were boring, the wildness never ensued and the kids were so good in the car, go figure! The first few hours were spent alternating between bottles, diapers and wrenching my arm back to hold Luke’s hand; he was less than pleased to be in the car, but aside from that there were no major hiccups with the children. Ben slept the majority of the ride and Lucas and Raegan only fussed when they needed a diaper or were hungry. It was pretty much smooth sailing from the kids. What I did not realize before deciding to take this trip was how bad of a passenger I have become. My anxiety was high as ever and when I say anxiety I do not use the term lightly. I was not a little nervous, I was not just cautious of the speed limit. I was borderline panic attack anxious. My chest was heavy, my mind was racing and I had an overwhelming fear of getting in a car accident. It was all consuming. Steve drove for eleven straight hours because I couldn't even watch him drive in the dark let alone get behind the wheel myself. I could not drive on certain highways, I could not drive in certain types of weather conditions. My anxiety was limiting my ability to help at all. Thankfully I have a partner who is a road trip champion and took care of the bulk of the driving, but this all got me thinking. When did driving become such a scary proposition for me. When did my ability to accomplish tasks become controlled by where my anxiety took my mind. I really wasn’t aware of how bad I had become, but at more turns than one I was jumping and grabbing the door handles. Every slow down, bend in the road, traffic jam was another chance for me to play out all the horrific scenarios I could think of. I could have let my anxiety consume me the entire trip, but about half way through I decided it was time to hop on my phone and look up some techniques to help calm my mind. Here are the few I found the most helpful:
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AuthorNavigating motherhood and mental health with a healthy dose of sarcasm! |